When Crowded Rooms Are Too Crowded

Have you ever went out to run errands and the store or shopping center is way to crowded? I’m sure everyone has, but have you ever panicked in that situation? If yes, congratulations, you have social anxiety!

I don’t really get scared when I’m in a public place. A few people don’t bother me, but when I am at the grocery store and there are groups of people within a few feet of me, I get agitated. I’m not sure why social anxiety is such a problem. I’m not embarrassed or in a hurry, so why large crowds make me nervous, I have no idea.

For our anniversary, Dillon and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings to grab a bite. That place was booming, but I didn’t mind it. It doesn’t bother me to eat in front of people. Maybe it was because I was sitting down and didn’t have to dodge people. Who knows? The only thing that did bother me was the two guys that cut in front of me at the front. Hey, I was ready to eat! My face turned red from trying to hold in a few choice words.

Maybe that’s it! When I go places, I almost always expect people to be rude, and me, being the lovable firecracker I am, will not put up with it.

Now, I am a very friendly person to everyone, and I will try to go out of my way to help people when I can, but I just can’t stand when people try to run over me  or anyone for that matter. I understand if it’s an emergency or they are really in a hurry. That’s different, to me, but I have come across some people who are just absolutely hateful.

I’ve had a couple of folks stare at me and Dillon when we go places. I don’t know if it’s because he is Hispanic and I’m not and they don’t agree with my choice, or if Dillon’s haircut is just awful (seriously, someone tell him to cut it). Whichever the case, I still try to keep my mouth shut. If I were still the old me, I wouldn’t be as patient.

I can go buy diapers and be ready to leave as soon as I get out of the car. I’ve always hated shopping, though. If I go shopping for clothes, I want to get a few outfits I like and exit the store. I don’t browse at stores. I do that online. In my pajamas.

During the holidays, I almost feel like I’m going to have a heart attack. There will be so many people buying gifts or food. Ironically, the holidays are when people are rudest. Standing in line at the cash register makes my face even redder. I get hot and start to sweat, and I really don’t look very friendly.

I know other people just get nervous or scared in public. Maybe they feel embarrassed, or maybe they are terrified of people in general. They feel like they are constantly being judged by these large crowds, and they feel like they’re being put on the spot. Those of us who hate being the center of attention would rather stand on the sidelines and watch.

Some of the older generations think the internet is bad for you, and it is to an extent. You don’t get out and about like you should and talk to new people. However, if you have extreme social anxiety, social media is a good way to talk to others without leaving your house. No crowds, no dodging people, and no changing out of your pajamas! Unless you’re me. I have been known to wear my pj’s to Wal-Mart. I mean, it’s Wal-mart, cah-mon!

I may not be afraid of crowds, anymore, but I do get angry! I’m really not sure which is worse.

Anyway, on to online shopping!

Love you!

-Courtney

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