The Hypochondriac (and Dillon) Try “Dulces Kokito’s Roco Koko Candy”

Here is my very first post from my new “The Hypochondriac Tries” series. Guys, I’m so thankful for my readers! I just wanted to give back by giving you all a good laugh! So, here it is!

I took a trip to the Mexican store yesterday, trying to figure out what I was going to sink my teeth into. I wanted (badly) to review the Unicorn Frappuccino, but I couldn’t get to Starbucks. Instead, I found these delicious looking coconut (and what seems like chocolate) candy. I surely hope it’s chocolate. Mexican candy has the tendency to have chili powder. Seriously. Everything has it. My in-laws introduced me to those pineapple lollipops with just a hint of the stuff and they are delicious. I’m still hoping this is chocolate. I also hope those yellow cube dudes on the packaging have a genuine smile and not just a “you’re gonna get it” type of grin. I guess we will see!

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I mean, I guess that’s not a worm. Chocolate, save me.

Upon opening the package, This candy looks fine, except for it being hard as a dang brick. It is also sticky. Oh, man, please let this be chocolate. Wait, it has no smell. Shouldn’t it smell like chocolate? Oh, no.

What I say, before: “If it’s chocolate, it should be good. Chocolate and coconut together is delicious, to me. I’ll just pretend it’s an Almond Joy. Yum.”

What Dillon says, before: “My prediction is that it’s going to be nasty because it’s coconut.”

 

 

 

Spot on, Dillon.

My fear factor: Seems okay. I’m not panicking.

Okay. Let’s try it!

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Me: I am so sorry I bought these. Even pretending they were Almond Joys didn’t help. At first, I couldn’t taste them because they were so freaking hard. I’m pretty sure I cracked my teeth. After thirty seconds of trying to chew, I managed to get a big enough chunk off the individual piece to taste it. I was sadly mistaken. I hoped it was chocolate. Or, I hoped it tasted like chocolate. I tasted coconut, definitely.  If it is chocolate surrounding the coconut, it is a false chocolate. One that should sink back into the ocean, where it belongs. I would safely compare this to a nasty, rock hard, Almond Joy. Without the almond. Also, without the joy. I didn’t taste chili powder, which is a plus. I can’t identify the taste that’s currently in my mouth. Sadness? Regret? The inside of my broken teeth? Hard to tell.

Dillon: I have never seen someone spit something out so fast. I have said before that Dillon is a picky eater, but right after he washed his mouth out with water, he said, “I mean, to somebody who likes coconut they might be good.” Somehow, he managed to crunch through this dental catastrophe. And by crunch through it, I mean he could have woke up the kids across the house. Needless to say, he thought it was nasty. Not too nasty, apparently, as he didn’t gag or anything. Way to go, Dillon!

My rating: 3/10 only for coconut
Dillon’s rating: 1/10

Conclusion? No. I would not recommend these to Almond Joy lovers. This Mexican candy might be good to someone who likes confusing tastes, though. Dillon is Mexican, as you know, but even he gave this candy a thumbs down. Way down.

Love you!

-Courtney

Got any suggestions? Leave them in the comments!

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