Yesterday morning, I woke up with a plan to write about something that seems to bother me on a a daily basis. Unfortunately, a drop of rain hit the ground, and our internet shut down. I found this a little bit weird, since the lights barely ever go out in a severe thunderstorm. I guess that one drop of rain was too much for the poor electricity.
Anyway, the fear of happiness is something I’ve known about for quite some time. I just didn’t know it was called cherophobia until I used my mind-reading skills on the closest psychologist. By “mind-reading skills”, I mean Google. Truthfully, I always thought that fearing happiness just meant I was a pessimist. A little more research showed that’s partly true and partly not true. According to Peter Lambrou in “Is Fear of Happiness Real”, it’s avoiding anything joyful because something bad might follow.
However, I have come to a fair conclusion that being pessimistic is different because this personality type doesn’t avoid places or events that bring joy or happiness, per say. They wouldn’t fear the situation or fear the outcome, if it did go wrong. Because, well, it’s expected. It is what is it.
Being cherophobic, however, doesn’t necessarily mean you expect the worse, it just means you’re afraid the worst will happen. It includes the avoidance of anything that could make them happy.
I think a lot of us have been to a carnival or fair, before. Well, imagine you’re there with your friends and you are having the time of your life. You got your corn dog, virgin strawberry daiquiri, giant inflatable hammer, and you’re looking forward to getting o your favorite ride. Nothing could possibly go wrong, right?
What if I told you, you’re favorite ride is broken down for the rest of the week?
Now, imagine a pessimist’s take on this same situation. This person would expect something like this to happen. They go to the fair, and after being informed their favorite ride needs maintenance, might say, “I knew this would happen. I guess I better try another ride. Of course, that one is probably broken down, too.” Not really fearing that outcome, just giving off negative vibes. Kind of like an “oh, well” attitude.
What about cherophobia? I doubt a cherophobic would even be there. They would be afraid to have fun, at all, only to be let down.
I know a carnival might not be the best comparison, but this is my blog and I’ll be darned if I’m not gonna compare a mental illness to a fun, crazy ride.
Fun? Maybe not. Crazy? Absolutely.
I can’t really avoid situations that are fun or happy. Mainly, because I would feel bad for keeping my kids away from fun. I am, however, terrified of being let down. It seems to happen all too often.
Relationships do scare me, though. I’m already married, of course, but I do have moments when I think about the end. I don’t want to end my marriage, but I am afraid of being hurt. I ask myself the same questions.
“Should I leave, before he leaves me?”
“What if I mess things up?”
“What if I’m happy now, but it will end with a devastatingly amount of disappointment, later?”
“What if my happiness causes things to end tragically?”
I shake the questions from my head, because they make me feel guilty. I don’t believe my husband would ever abandon me, but I feel like every time we are enjoying our time together, something bad seems to follow.
This has happened a lot with things other than my marriage. It has ultimately led my mind to connect the negative outcome to a fun situation, even if no real connection should be there.
It has caused me to miss out on a lot of opportunities, too.
I just wonder if we are being disappointed all the time, because we pay more attention to our fears. Does our anxiety cause us to pay so much attention, that we only see the negative aspects of our outcomes of the situations?
Heck, I don’t know. I barely understand my own mind, much less the general population’s.
I’m also scared of fair rides.
Except the Tilt-A-Whirl. It’s so amazing.
Check out my brand spankin’ new Facebook page, here!