“I’m so lonelyyy I have nobodyyy for my oooo-OOOWWWWNN. I’m so lonely.”
Well, folks, I’ll be doing this alone, again. Just when I think I can
hold Dillon down and force ask Dillon politely to try these things with me, he parkours out the front door. These darn vehicles sure do need a lot of work, every Sunday.
Kidding, I know Dillon is not a mechanic. (Sorry, Dill, but it’s true.)
Anyway, I bought a coconut flavored aloe drink to try. I, personally, have never had an aloe drink. I do know they are popular in some parts, but I don’t really see anyone drinking them around here.
You might hear about people rubbing aloe vera on their sunburns or minor cuts. I use it for sunburns and it only helps, slightly. I do know some people eat it and drink it for its health benefits, but I also hear that it has no taste. I thought, maybe this won’t be so bad.
So, I bought the most beat up bottle I could find. Actually, no, this was the least dented bottle. I don’t know if the employees at the store really hate this drink or it’s just not important enough to handle with care, but every one of the drinks were dented and warped. Hence, why I don’t think they are very popular, here.
I figured I had better look at the expiration date, and there are two dates on there. One says “PD: 06. 07. 2016” and the other says “BB: 05. 07. 2018”. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say PD stands for “Production Date” and BB means “Best by”.
I am a professional.
I just took a closer look at the drink in the bottle. There are chunks in it. I do not like texture. I’m hoping it’s chunks of coconut and not weird balls of snotty-like aloe. My stomach just turned.
I opened it and poured it into a glass to smell it. It smells like coconut water. The coconut overpowers whatever else I could smell, but there is definitely something else. Unless, it’s my imagination. Yeah, let’s go with that. Also, the chunks. I’m going to feel of one of them just to see if it’s coconut.
No, it definitely is not coconut. It’s aloe, I’m guessing, except it’s a little firmer than the normal slimy texture of aloe from the plant.
What I think: No. I can probably handle the taste, but I do not want chunks in my liquids. No, sir. Nope. *Sigh* I do think the taste will be similar to just coconut water, judging by the smell. I just hope I don’t get a taste of that other unknown smell. These chunks are going to be awful. I can not stand for a drink to have texture. That’s why they call it a liquid. It is supposed to be liquid, not chunky! What is this, soup?
My fear factor: No! There are chunks! Also, I guess I will find out if I’m allergic to aloe. I’m nervous because of the chunks, mostly.
Time to taste the chunks. Help.
After drinking: I tried, guys. I tried so hard. And only got so far. The taste was not bad, at all. I really only taste sweet coconut flavor. It was actually delicious! The chunks. It was the chunks that got to me. When I tried to swallow, they just sat there. The mushy little balls of terror would not let me think of them as healthy, but as, sorry for the gross description, boogers. There was no way it was going down my esophagus. I did try, though. Although it was tasty, there is hardly any aftertaste. It kind of disappeared along with my appetite. I rate it a 7/10 for taste. -1/10 for texture.
My conclusion? If you’re one of the few people like me who hasn’t tried an aloe drink, I think you would be pleasantly surprised. There are a variety of flavors, but I got the coconut because it is one of my favorite flavors. If you can handle mushy chunks in your beverage, you may like this. If you do not like chunks, now would be the time to run.
Take a shot every time you see the word “chunks”.
Got any suggestions? Leave them in the comments!