The Hypochondriac (and Dillon) Try Reese: Mint Jelly

Do you like breakfast but don’t like brushing your teeth afterwards? Now, you don’t have to!

As much as I would love for it to be Reese’s, that is just not what we’re trying today. That’s right, I finally roped Dillon into it. He couldn’t avoid this gelatinous, minty goodness. That, and since my phone is gone, I had to use his to take these pictures.

Anyway, I was going to get pepper jelly, but Dillon was actually excited for that one. So, like the wonderful wife I am, I grabbed something I knew he would hate. I also think I’ve made a mistake. As soon as I gave my money to the cashier, the questions overloaded my mind.

What is mint jelly?
What do you eat it with?

How do you jelly-fy mint?
Why is it bright green?

It says on the label that you can eat this with lamb, gelatin salads, compotes, baked apples, chocolate cake, and more desserts. That’s just too bad, because today, we’re slathering some of this toxic waste on a good ol’ fashion saltine cracker! Probably not the best choice, but hey, I couldn’t exactly get a lamb shank in a hurry.

I opened it. It’s definitely jelly. I was expecting maybe a fruity aroma and maybe a hint of mint, but I was sadly mistaken. Tooth paste. Mouth wash. Spearmint gum. All mixed into one. This stuff is strong. It’s not mint flavored, it’s mint turned into gelatin. How are you supposed to eat this with anything? Especially chocolate cake. Why ruin a good chocolate cake with something other than chocolate?

I’m going to get my revenge. That’s what you get for skipping out on me, Dillon. It’s going to be sweet… er, minty?

What I think: Judging by the smell, it’s going to be minty. Obviously. I’m not sure what stage of minty, though. Maybe it won’t be as strong as Wrigley’s, maybe it will be stronger than Listerine. I do know I’ll probably be able to brush my teeth with it. I love spearmint, so, I don’t think it will be bad, per say.

What Dillon thinks: I forgot what a horrible description Dillon tends to give for products. I asked what he thought: “Nasty. Minty. Toothpaste.” Guys, if you ever go see a movie with Dillon, don’t take a bathroom break. You’ll have to ask him what happened while you were gone and his description won’t be as great as you think.

My fear factor: Eh. Not really a fear factor, more like “I really hope I don’t get this in my eye”.

It’s minty, greeny jelly time!

20170625_103422

Me: What. Okay, I had to take two bites. Also, I’m glad I changed my mind about the crackers. When you first taste it, it’s mint and some kind of tangy, weird fake taste. It definitely has sugar. In fact, I think it has more sugar than mint, which decreases my rating for it. once you get the sugar taste from your mouth, it is definitely more mint. It is exactly like sugary toothpaste, and I have no idea how else to describe the taste. I’m used to eating jelly that is sweet and fruity. This was just strange, to me. I’ll have to rate it a 3/10, only for freshness.

Dillon: “Wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Taste just like tooth paste.” I think we can both agree that this stuff is exactly like eating toothpaste jelly.

My conclusion? I can’t think of anything on that label it would be good with, in my opinion. Especially not chocolate cake. Even though I do enjoy Junior Mints and York Peppermint Patties, this is a far cry from that. You might enjoy this on toast (if you do, I respect you).

Would not reccomint using this as toothpaste. See what I did, there?

Love you!
-Courtney

Got any suggestions? Leave them in the comments!

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